Here are some experiences from actors who've been there, just to give you a taste of what it is like and hopefully to answer any questions you might still have.
These stories show that professional actors and crew understand that bodies react naturally, that standing up for your boundaries is essential, and that the technical reality of filming is quite different from what appears on screen.
The Technical Reality (Assistant Director) #
We were filming a shower scene on a low-budget movie. We removed the shower doors, so the camera could see in. Three crew members were crammed in the bathroom: cameraman, boom operator, and a technician on the floor with a fog machine for steam effect.
The actors arrived wearing flesh-coloured body stockings. I helped them climb over the technician into the shower. Makeup touched up the actress and made sure both looked wet. The director watched on a monitor outside because there wasn't room in the bathroom.
We called, 'Action!' and they began their passionate kiss scene. Just before their lips touched, the director called 'Cut!' because there was too much steam, and he couldn't see anything. The actors climbed out, a technician adjusted the machine, and we fanned the door to clear the steam.
Five minutes later, everyone back in position (boom operator standing on the toilet). We went again. Thirty seconds later, the kiss was over and everyone got out while lights were moved for a different angle.
This continued for almost three hours. I was drenched in sweat by the end. It wasn't sexy or romantic for any of us — it was just work.
So if you are a little shy about the crew seeing you naked, bear in mind they are most likely not thinking about you but about doing their job and how uncomfortable they are! As the AD says, it’s not particularly sexy or romantic. It’s a job.
Standing Your Ground (Jess) #
I was filming an independent movie in Germany with a fairly mild love scene. I'd read the script and discussed it with the director — I was comfortable with what we'd planned.
But when filming day came, the director started talking about making the scene stronger. He wanted full nudity instead of topless, and for me to 'play with' my co-actor's bits. I wasn't happy about this at all.
I had a huge argument with the director. My co-actor didn't back me up — he just sat in the corner on his phone. I ended up in the bathroom in tears, the director walked off set shouting at everyone. Fortunately, the wardrobe assistant supported me.
I'm glad I stood my ground. We ended up filming the scene as originally planned. The director didn't speak to me for three days, but we eventually made up, and he cast me in his next film.
My advice to other actors is this: you need to respect your boundaries so you're never pushed into something you never would have agreed to originally.
Jess did the right thing and the problem came about because the director was not sufficiently prepared or organised.
Natural Reactions (Richard) #
I get aroused every time I have an intimate scene. It's just something that happens. I figure if I try to pretend it isn't there, everyone will know, and it'll be embarrassing for everyone.
The first time it happened, I acknowledged it, told the director, he laughed and told a runner I needed a bottle of cold water. We had a good laugh about it.
Not everyone is as bold as Richard, but this is good advice.
Un-Attraction (Michelle) #
Early in my career, I had to film a scene with a guy I really disliked and who I wasn’t attracted to in the slightest. It’s just one of those things, although the finished scene turned out pretty well, which kind of pleased me.
How would you have approached having an intimate scene with someone you didn’t like so much? Depending on the character you are playing, one answer could be to imagine that the person opposite you is not unattractive or unpleasant to you but tell yourself they are the most attractive and desirable person in the world. You close your eyes and kiss the man or woman of your dreams, in other words.
Accidents (Kristen) #
A guy once “had an accident” during a scene. I was so embarrassed, not because he’d done that, but because there were loads of crew around who knew. I did kind-of like the guy as well, but it was very difficult to talk to him afterwards! He was completely distraught, of course, poor man.
Again, how would you have dealt with this? If the person is embarrassed, then it’s not easy to bring it all out into the open! Think about it for a moment – if you had just shot this scene and this had happened, what would your reaction have been?
Finally, a story from a first timer… #
So I had this romantic scene coming up in a low-budget film, and honestly? I'd been panicking about it for months. You know how your mind goes to all the worst-case scenarios, well, mine definitely did.
The actor I was working with turned out to be really nice, which somehow made me even more nervous. We'd done a few other scenes together and got on really well, so now I was properly worried about keeping things professional.
The night before filming, I did all the usual prep — you know, grooming, everything you'd expect. Another actor had given me some practical advice about, er, "managing the situation" beforehand, which I absolutely followed; as well as that I also put on a pair of really tight underpants which I’d be wearing under a pair of shorts for the scene.
But here's the thing — when we got to set, my co-star was just as nervous as me.
The director was nowhere in sight so we made some small talk before I decided to plunge in.
‘Er, I’m sorry to ask this but, well, er, when we do our scene, er, um, eh, what, ahem, what will we do? I mean, er, um, ahem, I think I’ll have to touch you but, er, um, ahem, where?’
‘Oh, thank God you asked!’ she cried. ‘I’ve been so nervous about this!’
It was such a relief. We sat down and had a proper chat about what we were both comfortable with. Boundaries, what was okay, what wasn't. It was awkward but absolutely necessary.
Then the actual filming started, and you know what? All that technical stuff takes over. We must have done about six takes because of lighting problems, continuity issues, the usual film set chaos. The director kept stopping to adjust things and demonstrate positioning (though only to me, typically).
By the time we were actually doing the scene properly, all the stopping and starting had made it feel much more like work than anything else. Plus, having half a dozen crew members standing around with lights and equipment definitely keeps things real!
The funny bit was watching the crew trying not to look jealous — that's when I finally relaxed and could actually enjoy doing my job.
So it all worked out well. But still, there’s professionalism involved: when you come to think about it, only a few people can get passionate and excited with a roomful of people watching them. This is where actors come into their own: good professional actors can block out what is happening and concentrate on the scene, and this is what the actor did above.
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