Intimacy 16: Keeping Work and Personal Separate

Many actors say intimate scenes mess with their head.

You might be working with someone you barely know and suddenly find yourself naked with them, kissing passionately.

Because good acting releases emotion, you might find yourself aroused and wonder whether you're responding to the character or the actor. When you see them off-set, those feelings might linger.

What experienced actors say is: keep work and personal separate.

Or as Tony Soprano might say, “It's business, not personal.”

On-set romances do happen, but they're almost always bad for the film, especially if actors get together and then split up before filming ends.

One actor told us:

I was playing half of a couple with a well-known actress. We hit it off and started an affair. Initially, it made our scenes incredibly sexy and powerful. But she was married, and when her husband found out, everything collapsed. She ended things with me to work on her marriage. We broke up badly, but still had four weeks of filming left, including bedroom scenes. We were barely speaking off-camera while having to appear in love on-screen. It was the worst shoot of my life.

If possible, keep personal feelings off set. Avoid physical intimacy with scene partners outside the script. When shooting, you need the emotion for your character, not yourself. When the director calls, “Cut!” walk away from the scene emotionally and don't let acting feelings transfer to real life.

For one thing, your scene partner might not feel the same way. For another, as Don Corleone might say, it's bad for business.

← Previous: Emotion vs Action | Next: Real Stories from the Set
Page 16 of 20: Keeping Work and Personal Separate
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